March 23rd.... can hardly believe how fast the time is going. Josh has been medication free for almost a month (March 1). I find myself nervous some days thinking that he could have a seizure at any time, But so far all is well. Last Sunday morning he informed me on the way to church that he wasnt feeling well. So... like all mothers I found myself "planning" what I would do if he had a seizure in church, I quickly scan who is sitting around us, that could help me..... But he was FINE.
We have had 2 appointments with Child life this month, which the first one I was unable to make (I had the flu) but the 2nd one I was there. I am not included in Joshs sessions with these workers, they want him to open up to them, without the "pressure of hurting or scaring mom". After his last visit, I had a pow-wow with his worker, and she informed me that Josh is very worried about his mom :( Can you imagine, my 12 yr old is trying to protect me. He told her that he gets very nervous before surgeries and test, but he cant show it to me, cause Mom "gets upset and cries before my surgeries" I felt just awful.... (and of course, cried) My son should not have to hide the way he is feeling to protect his mom. But it shows me how mature and grown up he is getting. I have now promised myself to better hide my emotions, so that Josh doesnt have to protect me.
We are also working on Joshs' anger.... he seems to have a lot of anger built up, and we are trying to get him to verbally express the way he is feeling rather then slugging someone or destroying something.
These are things that will definitely take some time. We are scheduled to go to Child life every 2 weeks, which keeps us busy.
Josh is scheduled for another MRI in April, which seemed so far away, but sure enough will creep up quickly. We pray that the tumor has not changed or grown at all.
He is also booked to see his eye specialist, (maybe some new glasses in the near future) Josh is very hard on his glasses, and because his head is not proprtioned right, his glasses always sit awkwardly on his face.
Hockey season is wrapping up, which is nice (in one way) but sad another, we enjoy spending our saturdays sitting at the arena watching the boys play-- which they enjoy so much.
I forgot to mention..... JOSH GOT A GOAL!!!!
and I missed it :( Joey had a game at the same time/ different arena, so John did the big boys and I did Joey's game. I told John that it was probably a good thing that I wasnt there, cause I probably would have cried. (if you havent caught on yet.... I am a very emotional person) Josh was thrilled, as was his whole team, they are absolutely great with him.
We are all eagerly waiting for Spring to arrive, to start enjoying the outdoors. The boys love being outside riding bikes, playing catch, hockey and such.
We pray with thankful hearts that Josh, and ourselves, are all doing as well as we are. We continue to pray that Josh stays healthy and that there are no changes in the tumor or seizures, Also that Josh may feel that he can open up to us (John and Myself) and his workers, that he doesnt have all these emotions and feelings bottled up. We thank all of you for your prayers and constant concern.
You're not the only emotional person around :) I was getting tears in my eyes just reading your post! Glad to hear things seem to be going well.
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